Help for family of gamblers
Help for family of gamblers is available in the UK whether or not the person gambling wants to change. The National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133 takes calls from partners, parents, children and friends, free and 24/7, and there are practical steps you can take today to protect your own money and wellbeing.
By the BonusKing editorial team. Last checked .
Key takeaways
- You can get support in your own right: the National Gambling Helpline and GamCare support people affected by someone else’s gambling.
- Protect your own money first: separate accounts, changed PINs and passwords, and no lending.
- You can’t make someone stop, and you’re not to blame; boundaries protect you and can encourage change.
- Free debt advice can help with shared bills, and children benefit from simple, honest explanations.
- Helpline for affected others
- 0808 8020 133, free, 24/7
- Ways to contact
- Phone, live chat, WhatsApp
- GamCare support
- Includes help for family and friends
- Free debt advice
- Charities such as StepChange
- Bank gambling blocks
- Set by the account holder only
Help for family of gamblers starts with you
When someone you love gambles in a harmful way, it’s natural to focus all your energy on them: how to get them to stop, where the money went, what they’ll do next. But family members and friends are affected too, often deeply, and their needs matter in their own right.
Getting help for yourself isn’t selfish, and it doesn’t depend on the other person admitting anything. Support can help you make sense of what’s happening, protect your finances, look after children and decide what you’re willing to accept. Ironically, families who look after themselves often find they’re better placed to support the person gambling too.
If you or anyone in your home is in danger, or someone is at risk of harming themselves, call 999. Gambling harm can sit alongside crises that need urgent help.
How someone else’s gambling can affect you
The effects on families go well beyond money. Recognising them can help you see that what you’re feeling is a normal reaction to a hard situation.
- Money worries: missing savings, unpaid bills, borrowed money or debts you didn’t know about.
- Broken trust: lies about where money or time went, hidden apps and accounts.
- Stress and anxiety: trouble sleeping, checking bank balances repeatedly, feeling on edge.
- Isolation: keeping the problem secret from friends or wider family out of embarrassment.
- Guilt and self-blame: wondering if you caused it or should have spotted it sooner.
- Strain on children: tension at home that children pick up on even when nobody explains it.
None of this is your fault. Gambling harm grows for many reasons, and the signs of problem gambling are often hidden well, even from those closest to it.
Free support for family members and friends of gamblers
Several free services support people affected by someone else’s gambling. You don’t need the person gambling to be involved or even to know you’ve made contact.
| Service | What it offers families | How to reach it |
|---|---|---|
| National Gambling Helpline (run by GamCare) | Confidential, non-judgemental support for anyone affected, including partners, parents and friends | 0808 8020 133, live chat or WhatsApp, 24/7 |
| GamCare | Support for affected others, including one-to-one sessions with a practitioner; GamCare also describes a money guidance service | Through the helpline or GamCare’s website |
| Free debt advice charities | Help with shared debts, priority bills and talking to lenders | For example, StepChange online |
| Your GP | Help with stress, anxiety or low mood caused by the situation | Your usual surgery |
| Your bank | Help for you if money has been taken from accounts you hold, and advice on joint accounts | Your bank’s support team |
You can reach the helpline through GamCare’s live chat and WhatsApp page (opens in a new tab) as well as by phone. Our wider directory of gambling support UK lists services for people who gamble, which may be useful to pass on.
Protecting your own money from someone else’s gambling
Protecting your finances isn’t a punishment. It reduces the stakes for everyone and removes temptation from someone who may be struggling to resist it.
- Open an account in your own name for your income, and move essential bill payments to it where you can.
- Change PINs, online banking passwords and any saved card details on shared devices.
- Check whether anyone else has access to your cards, your phone’s payment apps or your banking app.
- Stop lending money, even small amounts, and say so calmly and clearly.
- Keep copies of bank statements and a note of any money that’s gone missing.
- Make a list of household bills and who pays each one, so nothing important falls behind.
- Get free debt advice if shared debts or unpaid bills are building up.
Joint accounts, shared bills and debts
Shared money is where gambling harm hits families hardest. The rules on what you’re responsible for depend on the type of account or agreement, so speak to your bank or a free debt adviser about your own situation before making big decisions.
| Situation | What to think about | Who can help |
|---|---|---|
| Joint current account | Both holders can usually spend from it; ask the bank about your options, including converting or closing it | Your bank |
| Money missing from your own account | Tell your bank promptly and keep records | Your bank |
| Bills in joint names | Make sure priority bills keep being paid | A free debt adviser |
| Debts in their name only | Usually their responsibility, but check what you’ve signed | A free debt adviser |
| Being asked to lend or guarantee | You can say no; lending often extends the problem | The National Gambling Helpline |
Bank gambling blocks can only be switched on by the account holder, so you can’t add one to someone else’s card. You can suggest it, and our page on bank gambling blocks explains how they work. The Gambling Commission’s guide to blocking gambling transactions (opens in a new tab) lists the banks that offer one.
What you can and can’t control
One of the most painful parts of loving someone who gambles is feeling powerless. Being clear about what’s in your hands and what isn’t can ease some of that weight.
Advantages
- Your own money, accounts and passwords
- Whether you lend or cover debts
- How you look after yourself and any children
- Getting support for yourself
- Saying clearly what you will and won’t accept
Drawbacks
- Whether the other person stops gambling
- Their bank settings or GAMSTOP registration
- How quickly they admit there’s a problem
- Whether they accept treatment
- Every urge or relapse
In the box above, the left column is what you can control and the right column is what you can’t. Putting effort into the first list is rarely wasted. Pouring effort into the second often leads to exhaustion.
Supporting children in a family affected by gambling
Children often know more than adults think. They notice arguments, tension about money and changes in routine. Simple, age-appropriate honesty usually helps more than silence, which can leave them filling gaps with their own fears.
- Reassure them that it isn’t their fault and that adults are dealing with it.
- Keep routines as steady as you can: meals, bedtimes, school.
- Let them ask questions, and it’s fine to say you don’t know all the answers.
- Tell school staff if you think a child is struggling, so they can offer support.
- Explain that gambling is for adults only, and that it’s designed so the house has an edge.
If you’re worried a teenager is gambling themselves, our guide to gambling and young people covers warning signs and how to talk about it.
Help for family of gamblers by relationship
The core advice is the same for everyone, but each relationship brings its own pressures.
| You are their… | Common pressures | Good first step |
|---|---|---|
| Partner or spouse | Shared money, home and children; broken trust | Separate your essential money, then call the helpline for yourself |
| Parent of an adult child | Urge to bail them out; worry about their future | Decide your position on lending before you’re asked |
| Adult child of a parent | Role reversal; embarrassment on both sides | Offer practical help, such as sitting with them to set up a bank block |
| Friend or colleague | Not wanting to overstep | Say you’ve noticed and you’re there to listen |
Encouraging them towards help without taking over
You can open the door to help, but the person gambling has to walk through it. A calm conversation about what you’ve noticed, with one practical suggestion ready, tends to work better than ultimatums. Our guide on how to talk to someone about gambling gives opening lines and ways to handle denial or anger.
Practical tools you can suggest include GAMSTOP, the free national scheme that blocks online gambling sites licensed in Great Britain for 6 months to 5 years, a bank gambling block, and gambling blocking software for their devices. Each one needs their agreement, because they set it up themselves.
If they’re ready for treatment, NHS gambling clinics in England accept self-referrals. Our page on NHS gambling treatment explains the process.
Setting boundaries that protect you
A boundary is a clear statement of what you will do, not an attempt to control the other person. “I won’t lend money for any reason” is a boundary. “You must never gamble again” is a demand you can’t enforce.
- Decide privately what you need to feel safe, financially and emotionally.
- Turn each need into a sentence about your own actions, such as “I’ll keep my wages in my own account.”
- Tell the person calmly, at a quiet moment, without a long justification.
- Stick to it, especially the first time it’s tested.
- Review your boundaries with support from the helpline or a counsellor if things change.
Holding a boundary can feel harsh, particularly when someone you love is distressed. But covering debts or replacing lost money can unintentionally remove the consequences that sometimes prompt change, and it can pull you into financial trouble too. Understanding why people chase their losses may help explain why lending rarely solves the problem.
If things reach crisis point
Sometimes gambling harm becomes an emergency: someone talks about not wanting to live, there’s violence or threats at home, or debts lead to frightening contact from people demanding money. In any of these situations, call 999. Your safety and theirs come first.
For urgent but non-emergency support, the National Gambling Helpline answers 24/7 on 0808 8020 133, and the NHS gambling support page (opens in a new tab) explains treatment routes. Every tool and service on this site is collected on the safer gambling hub.
18+. Every casino game has a built-in house edge, so over time you should expect to lose what you stake. Set a budget before you play and stop when it’s gone: safer gambling tools and support. Free, confidential help: National Gambling Helpline 0808 8020 133.
Frequently asked questions
Where can family members of gamblers get help in the UK?
The National Gambling Helpline, run by GamCare on 0808 8020 133, supports partners, parents, children and friends as well as people who gamble. It’s free, confidential and open 24/7, with live chat and WhatsApp too. GamCare also offers one-to-one support for affected others. Your GP can help if the stress is affecting your health. Our directory of gambling support UK lists more services.
Can I stop my partner from gambling?
No, you can’t make another adult stop gambling, however much you want to. What you can do is protect your own money, set clear boundaries, get support for yourself and encourage them towards help. Tools such as GAMSTOP and bank gambling blocks must be set up by the person themselves. Our guide on how to talk to someone about gambling can help you raise it calmly.
Should I pay off my family member’s gambling debts?
Usually it’s better not to pay off gambling debts without advice, because it can remove pressure to change and put your own finances at risk. A free debt adviser can look at the whole picture, including which debts are priorities and who is legally responsible. If you do decide to help, consider paying a bill directly rather than handing over cash. The gambling debt help guide explains the options.
Can I put a gambling block on someone else’s bank account?
No, a bank gambling block can only be switched on by the account holder in their own app or by contacting their bank. You can encourage them, and offer to sit with them while they do it. On joint accounts, ask the bank how its block applies to each card. You can always protect your own accounts. See how bank gambling blocks work for which banks offer them.
Can I register someone else with GAMSTOP?
No, GAMSTOP is a self-exclusion scheme, so the person who gambles must register themselves. Once they do, it lasts for the period they choose, from 6 months to 5 years, and can’t be cancelled early. You can help by explaining how it works and being there while they sign up. Our GAMSTOP guide walks through registration step by step.
How do I explain a parent’s gambling problem to my child?
Keep it simple, honest and suited to their age. You might say that Mum or Dad has a problem with gambling, that adults are getting help, and that it isn’t the child’s fault. Keep routines steady and let them ask questions. Telling the school can help staff support them. For older children, our page on gambling and young people has advice on wider conversations about gambling.
Is it normal to feel angry at someone who gambles?
Yes, anger is a very common reaction, along with worry, sadness, guilt and exhaustion. Lies about money and broken promises hurt, and feeling angry doesn’t make you a bad partner, parent or friend. Talking to the helpline or a counsellor can give those feelings somewhere to go. The gambling and mental health page looks at how gambling affects wellbeing for everyone involved.
What should I do if I find hidden gambling on a bank statement?
Take a breath before reacting, and make a note of what you’ve found. Then choose a calm moment to talk, describe what you saw and how it made you feel, and suggest one next step, such as calling the helpline together. Protect your own accounts in the meantime. Reading about the warning signs of problem gambling can help you understand what else to look out for.